


A Shared Bed

by Rakath



Category: Degrassi, Degrassi: Next Class
Genre: F/F, Lola Kept the Baby, Nondescript Sex allusions, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:14:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23042317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakath/pseuds/Rakath
Summary: Lola raising her baby with her new girlfriend.First Person Fiction
Relationships: Maya Matlin/Lola Pacini
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	A Shared Bed

“Was she hungry?” Lola asked.

“No, just lonely, she’s asleep again. Hopefully until morning.” I shambled back to the bed and dropped back into my pillow.

Lola squirmed over and kissed my cheek, “Xièxiè mi amor.”

I found the energy to throw my arm around her. When I wake up, I’ll remember how cute it is that she can’t keep to one language while dead tired. For now, I just felt uneasy at ‘my love.’ It still didn’t feel right, it was still so- new. But hardly the priority at 4:47 in the morning. The priority?

Sleep.

***

The library was not normally a premiere spot for people to cry. Not at school. We had several unlocked storage closets. The locker rooms. Multiple bathrooms too far from primary traffic areas for regular use. All of them seemed better than a part of the school quiet enough people can hear you crying.

It wasn’t my problem. I didn’t need to investigate.

But- they could need help. And I might be useless, but I was better than nothing.

Sometimes.

“Lola?”

“Oh, um, I’ll just be going.” She attempted to make a hasty retreat. As far as reactions go I kinda expected it. When she and Tiny were a thing she’d never been one to handle ridicule, and she’d just been crying. So it made sense she wanted to escape.

Being seven months pregnant, well, hindered her a bit. She’d also made the mistake of sitting on the floor. So she was having trouble getting up at all. “If you want to run away, I’ll help you up. But are you okay?”

“No.” Her voice was small. It didn’t feel right at all for Lola’s voice to be small. Kind, sure. Sweet, okay. But small. Her voice was the one part of her that wasn’t normally small.

I sat down next to her, “What happened.”

“I just- saw myself in the mirror. All of me in the mirror,” Lola looked down. I don’t think she was looking at herself, more not looking at me.

Yes, she was pregnant, which meant her clothes didn’t fit right, and it changed her posture a lot. But she was still… Lola. Beautiful. Her make-up still on point, she was even maintaining her roots. I expect it was to keep a degree of normalcy to her. “You’re still one of the cuter girls in school, even pregnant, right.”

“No I’m not.” she said, into her arms rather than into the air.

Hmm. Not working, what was a way to get through to Lola, “Being pregnant means you definitely have the best butt in school now.”

She smiled at that. I’ll take it.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. You need a day.”

“No, I have to finish school.”

“You need to take care of yourself too, last semester I needed to take more days off. Instead of what I did.” I offered her my hand, “Besides, I’ll be back next fall anyway from some of the classes I missed.”

Lola nodded, and took my hand up this time. “Thanks Maya.”

“So, where are your friends anyway?”

“Track stuff.” Lola sounded like she didn’t want to sound bitter. She wasn’t really succeeding at it. Not a surprise, why watch her friends work on running super fast, when Lola could only waddle away from people.

***

Lola was getting dressed for school when Hope started crying. “I’ll get her, put on cute clothes.”

“That’s all my clothes!”

“Exactly, so you can stop stalling and get dressed.”

Lola huffed, loudly, to make sure I was aware of how distressed she was at this. I went to the nursery. Hope was, okay honestly? Babies are babies. They’re cute enough, I guess. All I felt was how small and helpless she was. That without us, she wouldn’t be able to survive. That’s all that went through me when I looked at her.

Maybe that’s just because she’s not mine?

“Maybe I should stay home…”

“Absolutely not.” I countered. “You’re going to school, hanging out with your friends, and coming home at least one hour later than you have to.”

Lola pouted. 

Hope also pouted.

“We’ll be fine, you need to spend the day not being in the house with the baby.” I rocked the baby in my arms, while telling the baby across the room to calm down. “We have all I need, you triple checked everything last night knowing I was going to insist you go to school. I’m not expecting you to be a normal high schooler, just pretend at it? Please?”

Lola sighed, “Fine. But only because I quadruple checked everything last night.” She put her books in her bag and looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t the same pixie she was when I first met her. Her curves weren’t as profound as when she was pregnant, but- that doesn’t just go away. She also, fun side effect of the past several months, had more muscles now.

Setting up an apartment for us involved a lot of moving furniture so Lola looked really great. I probably did too, I guess. Lola seemed to think so. “You look hot, go be amazing at school.”

Lola smirked, and headed out.

***

“So- what happened?”

Lola was sitting on my sofa, baby in her arms and tears streaked her make-up. I was impressed how well she maintained herself in spite of- well. Baby. That should have taken something away from her primping but it never did.

“Yael and I were hanging out, he said some things in Spanish I don’t want to repeat. About them, then just about- ‘deviants.’” She was rocking Hope in her arms, trying to keep the baby calm and happy, to not feel how angry her mother was. “And, well, I told him. That I’m bi, and if my daughter brings home a girlfriend, or realizes they aren’t a girl, I’ll still love them. No matter what.”

“And?”

“He told me he couldn’t abide that sort of perversion in his house. So I left.”

I moved in closer on the sofa, careful of Hope, and hugged Lola as best I could. Babies complicate that sort of thing. When their mother won’t put them down because this house is  _ not _ childproofed at all. “I take it I was your third pick?”

Lola shook her head, “First.”

“Wouldn’t going to Frankie have been a better starting point. Force Hope’s grandparents to do something?”

Lola’s mouth fell open.

“Oh come on, Miles is obviously the father. I may have had a lot going on when you got pregnant but even I could tell something shook him. And he isn’t easily shaken.”

Lola sighed, “Mrs. Hollingsworth offered me money to- solve this. When I first told Miles. I can’t go to them.”

I could respect that. Sure, it was foolish, to just ignore the obvious answer. But Miles’s parents were assholes and denying them the satisfaction was a worthwhile pursuit. “What about Shay?”

“She’s been… weird, ever since Hope was born. She just recoils away like my lovely little child is made of snakes or something.” Lola squirmed a bit, “Ever since in the library you’ve been really good to me, not treating me like anything’s wrong. I feel- like, almost normal around you.”

Lola had to make a choice, a tough one. And deal with it. I could get that, it didn’t really change Lola, except maybe make her a little more grown up. It wasn’t like my choice, which everyone had the right to judge me over. “Well, we’ll figure something out. I’ve been looking for my own place anyway. Have you called Miles, told him what’s happened?”

Lola looked away.

“Lola.”

“I’ll do it in the morning, once we have a plan. I don’t want him to- like, do anything stupid like come back. Especially since we’re not together.”

We had a plan? Well, I wasn’t going to let Lola just go off without one. I did just offer we could find a place together. I guess  _ we _ were in this together.

***

Waking up being kissed is weird. Not bad. Just a very surprising way to wake up. I can sorta get why Sleeping Beauty and Snow White would wake up really quick to that sorta thing. I opened my eyes to find Lola home, “Hey.”

“I guess once you got Hope to nap, you needed a break too?” Still not used to Lola looking at me like that, like I was someone so important to her. Even if before all this, I saw her look at Hope with those eyes every day.

“Something like that.” I glanced over at the crib, Hope was still peacefully sleeping. “How was school?”

“Math homework, science quiz, all boring stuff teenagers do. We gossiped over boys. Went to the Dot. I made it a whole fifty minutes before I made an excuse to come home.” Lola smiled.

“Well, progress.” I got up and we left the room, Lola flipping on the baby monitor on our way to the living room.

“And you.”

“Hope realized you were gone, cried for a little while. Then relaxed when I worked on some composition writing. She likes classical.”

Lola scrunched up her face, “I can’t believe you made our daughter’s taste in music so boring.”

_ Our _ ?

“I also sang her some Gaga to get her to smile.”

“Better story.”

I sat on the sofa, Lola tucked herself in next to me. Lola didn’t hesitate at all to put my arm around her. Nuzzle next to me, and kiss my neck. “So that’s why you came home as fast as you could.”

“No, I came home to make sure Hope was okay. And you were okay. That was for telling me to get out of the house and go to school.” She kissed my cheek. Then my lips, each kiss she added a new reason for what was happening. “That’s for always making sure I have more in my life than just this apartment. And that’s for being really sexy taking care of our baby.”

***

“It almost looks like a real apartment.” We found an apartment near the end of the year, but we didn’t move in until summer. I had a class, and we both had shifts at the cantina, but it was more or less time for us to get settled in.

“That’s mostly thanks to you, well…” Lola looked up from the wall she was painting. Adding little flowers to make it seem ‘happier.’ “and Miles helping with the rent.”

“I barely did anything.”

“You found this place, and always having music has definitely made it feel nice while we unpacked.”

“I really, this has been mostly you. Although… I should eventually find a bed for myself.”

“Is it that bad, sharing my bed? The thing is super huge.” There was something off about the question. It was perfectly reasonable, the bed was a queen, neither of us was seeing anyone. I’ve certainly grown used to Lola in my space since she spent a few months at my mom’s house. So she could be used to it. Maybe it was a hormones thing.

“Not- bad, no. You smell nice and don’t snore. But shouldn’t I get my own bed?”

Lola didn’t answer, she was looking at me. Just- looking. She did that sometimes, when I wasn’t looking at her. I could tell, I guess I’d been watching her a little too. When she was all focused on Hope, or cooking. She got this cute little focused look when she was cooking. I never understood what she was seeing, just looking at me.

“What?”

Lola put down her paints and started toward me, “Just- this is scary, like- you’re more of a parent to Hope than Miles is not being in the country. And you’re way less scared of her than Shay, and better with her than Frankie. You don’t just see me as some loser who got knocked up in high school and-”

“Wait, why is that scary?” I saw an opportunity to get a word in and took it.

“Because- I’m afraid you’ll leave after I do this,” And Lola was kissing me. I should have seen this coming. I was never good at this, Cam and I danced around our feelings. Then there was Zig and his nonsense. And I could only tell Miles wanted me when he made it clear, by asking me out. So the idea that Lola liked  _ me _ took me by surprise. It probably shouldn’t have, but… it did.

I kissed her back, there wasn’t much else I could think of to do. She’s a good kisser and it wasn’t like I was against the idea, just- dating her was scary too. Living together was fine, sharing a space with her, helping with her daughter. I could do that, it gave me purpose beyond just taking care of myself. 

But-

What if I relapsed, what if I got dark. I couldn’t do that to Lola, I couldn’t do that to  _ Hope _ . I’d have to talk her down, explain why dating is a bad idea, why we probably shouldn’t, and that I definitely should have my own bed. After this kiss.

At some point during all of those thoughts, and the kissing, and the taste of Lola’s lips, she’d straddled my lap. Probably better than her standing over me the whole time.

I hope we don’t stop this kiss.

***

Lola bit back whatever noises she desperately wanted to make, shuddered, and collapsed next to me in our bed.

“One of these days,” Lola panted, “We ask Yael to watch Hope for an afternoon. Hanging out with my friends is great, but I’d rather we do this without worrying about waking Hope up.”

I smiled, squirmed up the bed, and kissed Lola on the cheek. “You’re welcome.”

Lola pressed into my shoulder, wrapping her arms around me like she was afraid I’d vanish. We both knew it wouldn’t happen, we both feared it would anyway. “There are two things we need to do, soon.”

“Oh?” Guess afterglows don’t last as long when real life is right outside the door.

“Well, um, we need to tell Miles. About us.”

“He did call, saying he’d be back for a week or so.” He’d gotten better at calling to video chat with Hope. Now that he was settled in at his writing school. He looked better, whatever anxiety about Hope he had abated by my being around to ‘help.’ If he suspected Lola and I were more than roommates, he didn’t let on. But if anyone would know it’d be him.

“Yeah,” Lola seemed worried. Not quite sure what about. Her worries ranged from the eccentric (what do I name my new phone) to the existential (will I always end up alone). And she felt all of them with the same passion.

“And the other thing.”

“I- well, with my dad still not getting over the bi thing. And Frankie still being Frankie. And Miles being off in England. I think- well, if anyone should be Hope’s other next of kin-”

I froze, Lola could tell. She could always feel the difference between my not moving and my freezing. The slow deliberate wait of my actions and the bone chilling fear of my effects. She sat up, her hand gently stroking the side of my face. “My love, relax, I’m not going anywhere. Nothing bad will happen to me. Nothing bad will happen to Hope. But if she’s sick, and you take her to the hospital, I want you to be able to talk to the doctors, and have some say in what happens. If I’m- I dunno, stuck in detention for something Yael got me into.”

She let her fingers drift over my skin, and let the slow deliberate motions work me out of my tension. I loved how she could do that, read me, soothe me, and relax me. “I- thank you, for trusting me with Hope.”

“There’s nobody I trust her with more.” She almost leaned in to kiss me, but stopped short. Changed direction, and caught the furthest edge of my jaw instead.

“You want me to go brush my teeth.”

“It’s just- you know, weird.”

I smiled, “I love you. Enough to get out of bed and brush my teeth.”

“Thank you.”

I got up, brushed my fingertips through her hair. Then let them drift down her neck, to her shoulder blade, down her arm to hold her hand. Just long enough to keep me near her a few wonderful moments. Before I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

***

Hope’s crying broke our kiss, and with it, we’d have to face reality.

I can’t date Lola, we have to just be roommates. No matter how great kissing her is. Or how nice it is to sleep next to her. The way she smiles at me. Hell, the way she smiles. I don’t understand it, how happy Lola can just be. And those eyes, all full of care and concern for everyone. And the way she can just fight for anyone she feels needs her help.

…

Fuck.

Lola had gotten off of me and headed to Hope’s crib. Picking her daughter up and holding her. In no way the same person who I met years ago. And in many ways still that girl. And I watched her, my resolve to put a stop to this already crumbled to dust. I couldn’t tell her no.

I couldn’t tell me no.

“I…” I let the word hang in the air, a single sound as I wanted to see Lola feel every apprehension before I answered, “I don’t think I need my own bed.”

And that smile, right now, was for me.

**Author's Note:**

> In my defense I have no idea why I came up with this idea.
> 
> But I did and you all have to live with it.
> 
> \- Miles is not intended to be a 'bad guy' but just very realistic in how 'nopenopenope' he is about being a dad (due to his history with his own dad). In the future he'd totally get his act together.  
> \- I had to vilify Lola's dad to start this plot going, couldn't be helped. I needed Lola on her own, and that meant bad parents.


End file.
